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Monday, June 30, 2008

Momfulness: Mothering with Mindfulness, Compassion, and Grace - Book Review

As mothers, we all know that there is a thread of magic that runs just beneath even the most mundane moments of our lives. But sometimes, we have to do something to find it. We have to do something to remember how very lucky we are to be running around in a mess of a house making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Denise Roy's new book teaches how to find this thread – and gives us practical suggestions for pulling it up to reveal the grace and the beauty that motherhood brings into our experience as nothing else can.

Denise Roy is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a mother of five. She is also an experienced spiritual guide for mothers. Her previous book, My Monastery is a Minivan, has been a title on my shelf that I have returned to again and again. This book is a series of essays, straight from Roy's real life, which help to bring my focus back to my spiritual center when I get off balance.

In Momfulness, Roy's approach is somewhat different. Just as motherhood is a continual back-and-forth between the practical and the sublime, the routine and the transcendent, the nose-wipes and the deep-snuggles – Roy's new book alternates between reflections and practical tips; stories and suggestions.

Momfulness is arranged around a series of lessons that most of would agree are natural to the journey of motherhood: presence, attention, compassion, embodiment, the sacred in all things, and community. There are six chapters devoted to each of the lessons, and each begins with a quotation (including those from some of my own favorite writers, such as Brenda Ueland, Anne Lamott, and Thich Nhat Hahn) followed by a story or essay. Each chapter concludes with practical steps you can take to weave this lesson into your daily life.

The reflective pieces are where Roy really shines. Roy's honesty is refreshing, and she is skilled at showing how even the most ordinary moments can present a pathway to a richer world if we can take the time to notice and to embrace them.

Such a book is a gift for those times when we need to be able to look on our children with a renewed appreciation and to see the gifts that they present to us in every moment of motherhood.

Momfulness is a quick read and great for study groups, particularly a regular church group or mom's group.

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